Tuesday, November 12, 2013

My First Pregnancy "Selfie"

I'll be the first to admit that accepting the physical changes to my body throughout pregnancy  has been difficult for me.  I am in awe of my friends who can willingly pose for bare-belly photo shoots during the later months of pregnancy.

Sadly, I have not fallen into this “Celebrate Gestation” camp. I regret to admit I have struggled through pregnancy, obsessing over just how large I am becoming. My body seems unrecognizable to me, changing more rapidly by the day. 

I've recently become convicted about these feelings.  I am a volunteer youth leader at my church and often have conversations with high school aged girls about body image. I try to hammer in the hearts and the minds of these girls that the body image of the world isn't real.  Yet, despite the fact that I know the truth of the scriptures-- it has been hard for me to look in the mirror during pregnancy.

I came across an article recently in the Minneapolis Star-Tribune.  The newspaper carried Mary McCarty’s review of Joan Brumberg’s recent book, The Body Project. The book is about the difference between how girls saw themselves 100 years ago and how they see themselves today. Brumberg analyzes diaries of adolescent girls from the 1830’s to the 1990’s. Her conclusion, according to the reviewer: “In the 19th and early 20th centuries, girls’ diaries focused on ‘good works’ and perfecting the character. In the 1990’s, the diaries are fixated on ‘good looks,’ on perfecting the body.”

For example, one diary from 1892 says, “Resolved…to think before speaking. To work seriously. To be self-restrained in conversations and actions. To be dignified. Interesting myself more in others.” Contrast this with an entry from 1982: “I will try to make myself better in any way I possibly can with the help of my budget and babysitting money. I will lose weight, get new lenses, already got new haircut, good makeup, new clothes and accessories.”

Reading the thoughts of teenage girls makes me wonder how the thoughts of young child-bearing women have changed in the last 100 years.  Sure, women have gained more rights and freedoms. Women's roles in the household and outside the home have also shifted dramatically.  But what about deep at the core of womanhood?

I came across this quote by one of my favorite pastors, John Piper:

“You were given a visible body to make Christ visible.”

With that quote something clicked for me: our bodies are just on loan for a short time. We won’t be confined to  imperfection forever. Not only were we created in the image of God, but we were given a visible body to do His work and breathe His healing on this side of eternity. In essence, to make Christ visible.  ...... and....Wham!  I just got it.  The weight gain, the stomach...all of it... is just a visual reminder to ME, Elizabeth's mom, that motherhood is my new mission field. (click the link... great read by Christian writer Rachel Jankovic)

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward."-- Psalm 127:3  Children are a blessing.  I have the privilege of passing on to Elizabeth the sense and love of God.

Now with this new perspective.... I have to deliver on the promise of my blog post...
 
**Please no comments on my appearance in this picture. Everyone has different body struggles during pregnancy. 

2 comments:

  1. You look great and beautiful Sarah! I have been struggling with how I look too, but every time I post a belly shot on a public forum, I have been so surprised at how supportive and positive everyone has been. It's hard to watch your body transform in such a short amount of time. Adam has been so supportive and complimentary of me during this time and that has really helped me. He keeps telling me to remember I'm creating another human, and that's tough work on anyone's body! He's right and we should try our best be proud of what we are doing. :)

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  2. Thank you for posting this! I feel like it is a very brave thing to talk about. I obviously have never been pregnant, but I am afraid I will feel the same way, and it's really helpful to hear how you overcame it :)

    I am also so glad you mentioned The Body Project! I am definitely going to read it. It sounds fabulous. My all time favorite book is Little Women, because I feel like I get so much out of watching the girls struggle to be their best selves. It's very reminiscent of the 19th century diary entry you posted. Wherever I am in my life I can read it and take something new.

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